I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that many people still aren’t hip to the Moroni 5 Lounge. There’s just too much information in our hyper-connected 21st century world for us to keep track of everything. Even the social media Influencers need assistants these days! So I’ll just clue you in on the scene, without judgement.
Back before El Presidente T let the cat out of the bag with his big Space Force rollout, the hardworking schlubs of the Deep State had their fingers in the Space Force pie all the way up to their wrists. Unbeknownst to the Trumpeteers, Space Force had been around since a hasty Cold War inception, just after the Sputnik launch scared the khakis off the Military-Industrial Complex.
In a truly ingenious feat of secret engineering, Space Force Moonbase was up and running not long after Ronnie Reagan’s Star Wars Project (SDI) fizzled and died on the launchpad. Now, deep beneath the Moon’s crust, Space Force Moonbase boasts an underground real estate that rivals any of the top-secret Underground Malls on Earth (NORAD, eat your heart out!) and, as with any military town, there’s plenty of opportunity for service industry workers who don’t mind living in enclosed spaces with artificial light and atmosphere (that describes most of our jobs, doesn’t it?).
Enter the Moroni 5 Lounge. Backed by a mysterious investor with deep pockets, the M5 Lounge (as patrons tend to call it) opened not long after Space Force Moonbase fired up its first laser cannon. Let’s face it, Space Force workers have a tough job, alternating stressful and dangerous action drills with long stationary hours staring at computer vid screens. When they get some downtime, these brave humanoids need a place to recharge their nuclear batteries, and the Moroni 5 Lounge is just the spot. Known for its mix of Earth exotica and Space-Age dazzle, the M5 has something for most everyone. Whether your favorite beverage features a miniature umbrella or dry ice, there’s sure to be something to your liking, and your host DJ-PK will tickle your auditory membranes with his signature sonic cocktails. The next time you find yourself on the Moon, check it out. But if you’re still stuck Earthside, you can tune in to regular remote broadcasts. Just set your media device to one of these links: